Life in the Zoo

When I was asked to write an article on what life is like being a young woman with twins as first children, I jumped at the opportunity. 2 hours later, I hadn't a clue what to write. Nevertheless, here I am.
I was 21 years old when my Fiance and I discovered I was pregnant. I have no factors for conceiving twins, no history of twins in my family, so at 18 1/2 weeks gestation at my first ultrasound when we discovered I was carrying twins, imagine our suprise. My pregnancy was not planned, by any means. A blessing in disguise, perhaps.

There is a stigma in society that comes along with being young (or young-looking) and carting around 2 babies. I am often plagued by stares, whispers, disapproving looks,double takes and just downright rude questions, comments and behavior, when the 3 of us are out in public. Its quite bothersome to say the least. I am constantly feeling as if I have to defend my position as a mother. Whether that be my own insecurites or otherwise, its troubling. I am not going to go into the societal issues of today, but I will say that this type of attitude is widely accepted.

I am not in the business of naming names or pointing fingers, but as a young mother of twins, my capability of providing even the basic necessities/care for my two children, always comes into question. Whether it be a doctor, nurse or just a busy body we pass on the street in our day to day life.

I like to think I look my age, the ripe old age of 22, but I know I look much younger. Another blessing, in disguise.

When I think of my experiences thus far, a particular incident seems to stick in my mind. While waiting for my Fiance to come out of a store, that I decided wasnt worth wasting my double stroller, navigation tecniques in, an older woman (well, older than I) with another female, passed by the 3 of us. She shot me the age old disapproving once over and stated to her friend "It must be tough to be a single mother with 2 children" - age old, shake of head for emphasis- "kids having kids". Loud enough, of course, for me to hear. They continued on their journey to wherever they were going as if the comment was nothing out of the 'norm'. I for the life of me, cannot figure out what this woman meant. Neither one of my children has birthed the other. Believe me, I was there!

While I have encountered more negativity in the public since having twins, than positivity, due to my age, being a young mother of twins isn't all bad.

I only wanted 2 children, a boy and a girl. Surprise! I had boy/girl twins. At 22 I am finished bearing all the children I ever wanted.
By the time the twins are schoolage, I'll still be in my Twenties.
By the time the twins leave home, I'll still look fabulous in the bikini I'll be wearing on all those cruises we plan to take (minus the Twin Skin, of course)

At 22 I still go through all the same struggles, challenges, heartache, anger, frustration, love, joy, happiness and pride that any mother goes through. Excellent parenting is not defined by age. I have seen my fair share of what society would consider a mature parent, not able to provide the amount of attention, love, praise, lifeskills and basic necessities each individual child requires to thrive and grow into a healthy adult. Parenting children requires unconditional love, understanding, dedication, patience and 100% plain as day, common sense. I am fortunate enough to possess each and every one of those qualities.

While most at 22 are in university, lost in which life path they should walk, drinking their weekends away, I am home doing double the diaper duty, cleaning up twice the amount of spit up, doing two times the laundry and receiving twice as many smiles. So I can't sleep in until noon on a weekday, heck not even a weekend! So, I can't spend my Friday partying the night away, when I look into the faces of the two most beautiful creatures I have ever seen, the best thing I have ever had the pleasure of creating, I absolutely would not change it for the world, not for a lazy day, not for a case of beer on a Friday night, not even for the Twin Skin.

When you see us walking down the street, dont shake your head, don't shoot us the disapproving glances, don't feel awful for us, I'm 22 and I have the million dollar family, can you say the same?
- Candace Jersic